So remember how I totally stopped talking to Josh and I was reunited with him yesterday? Well today just got better. Yesterday we never really had a chance to talk a lot but today he came to Saturday on the Street. I was plain amazed to see him there! I always told him to stop by but he never did and now he was here! I made him a snow cone (or 3) and he played chess with some of the girls from the mission team. I then played him and won and later won against 2 more other people woohoo! After that, Lauren was going back to St. Paul's with some of the guys to pack up and Hana and I were gonna take the team to the CNN center for the homeless walk. Josh asked me what I was doing and I told him and asked him to join us so he did. We got there and I bought him lunch. At the CNN Center he talked about the usual different things and how Siddhartha is related to ET and to God. Throughout this entire time I just assumed that it was the drugs that messed up with his thinking.. but there was more to come.
After lunch Hana talked to the group about the walk and we drove back to the office and Josh joined us. I wanted to get to know him better and so I asked him to tell me about himself. He said that he didn't wanna be who he was in the past and as we were talking he wanted to use the phone to call his dad so I let him. He talked to him for a while and once he was done I actually talked to him. His name is Chuck and he told me how Josh was diagnosed with being bipolar and having schizophrenia. His mom and himself tried helping Josh by sending him to the doctor and getting him to take medication but Josh won't admit that he has a problem. His dad also told me that he wants to send him money but he knows Josh will lose it. Laso that Josh forgets many things (like going and getting his social security) and that he needs someone to be there for him. His dad told me how Josh does know God because he went to a Christian school and his dad has been praying for someone to help him out. I knew that at this moment was the moment God wanted me to be in. Throughout the past month that I heard nothing of Josh I constantly asked the guys from the street where/how he was doing. That the only time I knew of him. Seeing him yesterday and spending the entire day with him was such a blessing. Talking to his dad was even more of a blessing. To see that his family actually cares about- man, the blessings just keep piling up.
Josh told me that his mom hated him and didn't wanna have anything to do with him. But his mom does care about him- which is why she took him to the hospital so he could get back on his meds. When I finished talking to his dad I told him that he can call my phone whenever he wants and I also gave him my email. I pray that we stay in touch. Hana, Lauren, and I then started walking to Woodruff. Josh came with us and I tried telling him was his dad had told me. I also tried telling him about his mental disorder but he didn't want to believe me. In fact, he strongly denied me and said that the doctors weren't good and weren't trying to help him. But he said that he trusted me and that he was happy that he could call me my friend. I told him that I was happy that I could call him my friend and that I cared about him a lot. We got to Woodruff and we continued talking there and I told him that as a friend I would tell him what I thought and he could do the same. We later then went to Underground where we sat somewhere because I was SO tired. There, I gave him my number and wrote down that I will always be his friend and that "everything's good in the end. If it's not good then it's not the end." He then began writing. He wrote down "I am failure. Worm. Fall." and several other sad/negative words. He said that's who he was. Nobody. That he was lost and he couldn't find God. His mind was so lost and confused and I really didn't know what to do. I could only pray for him. By that time 6 hit and he had to get back to the Shelter. I walked him out and told him that no matter what happens I would always be here as a friend. He said that he loves me and to take care and be safe and he gave me a hug. I really care for this guy. He is such a sweetheart and I want to be there for him. But I know that God needs to take control of his life and that Josh needs to want to change (I told him that!). It's just so hard when you care a lot for someone. So please keep Josh in your prayers :)
On the way back from Underground a group of the girls from the team and I met Tina. She said she was abducted and talked about it for 40ish minutes. It was crazy to hear her stories that I don't even know if they're true or not. I hope to talk to her again and really be able to understand what she said! We then went back to the office and debriefed there. I really liked having the mission team here and felt that they got a lot out of it, especially this last walk back from the park. I hope that they got something out of it. Most of the day I spent talking to Josh and I told them how he just happens to be special in my heart and I knew they understood what I meant. This was such a wonderful day and I really pray that God continues to work in my life and everyone else.
Jenny Sample
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